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2002-08-28 - 9:36 a.m.

It's funny that people who've never met me or Andrew know that we are friends because of Dirtynerd pita & because we write about each other. But if you've never met us, there's no way you can know this one really important thing - I am so insanely bigger than him. Like, easily 1 1/2 times his height if not more. He's tiny & delicate, & his pinky fingers are kind of translucent, like some pretty sea-thing. I am big & hamboned, like Bill Brasky-style large, & I don't take no guff. Boom boom boom is how my laugh goes. Andrew has to scream to be heard by normal human ears. I tuck him up under my arm & go hogwild running through the streets. My pants often split. I have to protect my sweet shoebox sleeper. I press my couch-lips against the side of his preemie-sized bonnet & whisper "i love you tiny dancer." He rollerskates across my thumbnail. I'm prettier than King Kong.

Michelle Tea's new memoir "Chelsea Whistle" is amazing.

I watched "Montana Moon" from about 1930 or 1931 & I cannot believe how much Joan Crawford looks like Gillian Anderson. I guess the other way around, Gillian like Joan. I always thought of Joan with the lips & the eyebrows, but before all that happened she was pretty & girlish like Gillian. Please let time travel happen so they can make a movie where they're girlfriends. Named Pam & Lloyd. Super kissy, & fixing each other's hair a lot, & trading fancy gowns.

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