2005-01-03 - 11:33 a.m.

Sydney had something to return to Kohls. I was like "I've never been to Kohls. Do I like it?" She's like "NO. It's extremely boring." I'm like "Like Penneys?" She's like "EXACTLY like Penneys. Like if you don't care about something being cute, definitely buy it at Kohls. If you want a plain t-shirt, go there. If you like cute stuff, do not go there." I'm like "Well....I'll go with you since you're going to Target too, & I worry about you going around alone and stuff. Kohls backwards is Sloke." So we go and guess what - it's fabulous? I mean I didn't really look at the clothes but the earmuffs were fabulous and you can buy a 3-pack of dickys for your feet for $1 if you are so inclined. Don't people try to keep me from places.

I had an awesome New Years Eve. People came over & played Apples to Apples & that shit rocked. So hard. And there was only one really really gross couple there & we all tried to ignore them & they went and laid on the kitchen floor & TURNED OFF THE KITCHEN LIGHT. That is how you act at parties. And Michelle backed me up against the counter & rasped "You want MiCHELLE on that ASS on that ASS on that ASS" while repeatedly charging into me from a backup point of like 2 centimeters. God. It was scary, like monkey attack scary. Ok that's a total exaggeration, it would've been monkey attack scary if she was Busey or something.

Here's what the card says that Michelle got me for Crimbo:

You're so laid back you're just like
the Leaning Tower of Pisa
So Crimbo wishes to a bloke
who's a truly Diamond Geezer!

Yes you're so cool you probably keep
your undies in the freezer
And no-one else is quite like you
a smashin' Diamond Geezer!

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