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2004-04-19 - 3:31 p.m.

I am supposed to write about Prague. If I don�t now, I never will.

First let us look to the paper record.

Parts from Prague journal:

Yesterday we went to an underground grocery with 500 kinds of yogurt. We went through a dark, abandoned emergency exit & forced our way into the disabled bathroom. You know how we do.

We had bacon dumplings and I have a fantastic ultra-cinnamony apple strudel with whipped cream & vanilla ice cream & vienna coffee.

Syd had a big sub (crocodille) & a potato pancake. I ordered a sausage, which came on a square of cardboard with a bit of really good mustard & 4 small pieces of rye bread. It tasted SO GOOD.

We did Thai massage, which I don�t ever want again.

It was like 11 and no place was serving. I ended up eating at mcdonalds, which was revolting. The meat tasted vegetarian.

Every day it�s hard to get up. The free breakfast is what makes it happen. We had good breakfast � I love the pastries and the sandwich.

Sydney had studied the map & found how we took the local subway to the train to Kutna Hora, which is where Bone Church is and Gnarl lives now.

Sydney likes cakes with hidden grapes.

I ate some Geisha chocolate. TOO GOOD. Good milk chocolate with delicious hazelnut.

We were drinking at the third bar & I decided macaroni meant the same thing as weiner, & was saying all this stuff about keep your macaroni in your pants & with no control. And sydney put her elbows in her pants? And this guy who kept going outside to spit was fondling my coat? And they played bjork & morcheeba videos there, but also macarena. And Sydney LIKED the old dudes who sing macarena, HATED the models in the video.

I feel bad for everyone else the end of days brings me flying on my caramel covered serval pointing down maybe with my macaroni to all who said bad about me and they shall know disgrace. Sydney says genetic engineering. People shall know Pam on the serval is on the way when the archangels moonbootica come roaring through and 1.2. rock you all. Roll the dice. Roll the dice.

Ok that is all of the journal stuff. Moonbootica is a band was #1 on the mtv countdown, singing �we 1.2. rock u/roll the dice.� They were AWESOME, their video was just them on crazy motorbikes with crazy outfits like they worship peter facinelli. Hollering ROLL THE DICE & other stuff. Our room was nice, & we slept under these blankets that were like hot caramel. The streets were all cobblestones. The buildings were so amazing, & we took more pictures than probably would be fun to look at all at one time for someone not us. We ate at a restaurant about the devil. The devil was outside & everywhere inside & I ordered the devil�s ghoulash. They came with dumplings. There were a lot of dumplings. Also�we went to the Mucha museum, which was awesome & you should go. Only I left the movie because it hurt my butt. Also there was a picture of gauguin with no pants. We ate in a courtyard where I had a salad topped with toast rounds that had goat cheese & honey melted onto them. it was called caf� gulu gulu. We tried to go to the nick cave bar but it was closed. We traveled like an hour to kutna hora, & saw the bone church & it was incred. I would live there. We saw some synagogues in the jewish quarter, & this spanish one was so amazing & golden. We went to prague castle which has all this different shit in it. Like this really beautiful church with all these different chapels inside that each was for a different king & had a different amazing stained glass huge huge window in it. & we went underneath to this tomb that had a low ceiling. Sydney climbed up this 280 step top of the castle & waved down at me. Also there was a toy museum & so many cool exhibits. There was one case that showed robots, including an r2d2 that I had as a kid. Also the fucking cream on the cake is the A number one awesome fact that there happened to be A BARBIE EXHIBIT. With all this history of barbie & these massive cases of tons & tons of barbies all arranged together. Including one that was all celebrity barbies like 90210, scully & mulder, hammer & ice, clueless, etc.

I fell in love with our cab driver on the way back from the hotel to the airport. He was rocking out to ted nuge at 4:45am, & he had really big hands on the steering wheel.

The traveling home was so disgusting & hard that I don�t know if I�ll ever want to talk about it. I will say I watched Mona Lisa Smile. Sickmaking.

There were groups of italian teenagers & you would not believe how the boys dressed! They all dressed like they�d spent a year watching fastlane & queer eye. They were so fucking fashionable & had elaborate hairdos. A lot of czechs had mullets that seemed like they�d always had them, and a lot of italians had super styley fashion magazine mullets. I liked the czech mullets a LOT. They were pretty hot. They even had them in advertisements. There was this combo among some italian teen guys that was enormously tall cloth headbands tied around the forehead area, with hair puffed (or spiked) out over & under it, & then great big huge dark sunglasses that go down the cheeks a ways. We sat out on a stakeout one day trying to get a shot of a super fashiony boy with tons of labels on his clothes & a crazy hairstyle, but none walked by. We waited so patiently, & sydney said we were on the lookout for the crested male. But alas. None came that evening.

Everyone was so extremely nice to us.

I guess let me know if you have specific questions?

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