2003-10-08 - 2:27 p.m.

Robert Downey, Jr. hates himself & his itchy skin. He doesn't hate me or you, but we are so boring he probably couldn't focus his eyes on us for more than 5 seconds. That is my overall impression of him from Monday night. Would I have gone to see him knowing that my arch-enema Richard Roeper would be there in full spotlight asking the questions? Yeah, I still would've gone because I fucking love Downs. But I would've really braced myself, instead of just being all happy & open & having him suddenly thrust into my line of vision, a Celebrity Tard who I always thought I'd only ever hate from afar. Kind of like finding out someone in my family is friends with Jai from Queer Eye, WHICH IS NOT A HYPOTHETICAL SITCH AND SYDNEY CLAIMS HE COULD EASILY BE AT MY FAMILY XMAS AND OH GOD HE REALLY COULD. It was cool that the Film Fest was honoring Downs, because he does incredible work, & all that other stuff he's famous for is not for a Film Fest to worry about. Guess what - Roeper thinks differently! He thinks it's cool to bring up Downs's "hobbies," like Downs is going to laugh & we're all going to laugh at the fucking unimaginable hell he has been through in total public. So in response to that line of questioning Downs was just like "This stuff is old, ok, & everything has been cool for like 2 years," & then he amended it & said he shouldn't actually use the word cool, because you can ask anyone he's close to & cool is something he is not, he's more like a nightmare who is only cool on the screen but not at all in life. Is that what Roeper wanted? Some sick, raw self-hatred & self-flagellation on display by a great actor who we all paid money to go see get some fucking respect for his ACTING? Ugh. Downey was twitching, he couldn't look at anyone, he burped in response to the most heartfelt stuff that the head guy of the Fest said, he rambled a bunch & made crazy voices, he mentioned many times that his favorite things were his himself, his image, & mirrors, & surprise surprise like so many brilliant addict dudes you & I have known, he had only serious & good things to say about a woman he credits with saving him & keeping him stable. His girlfriend, who is from Schaumburg & had pretty long shiny brown hair. I only saw her from behind. He himself had a great leather jacket, great glasses, great haircut, & a great but extremely lived-in face. He was not oozing charm & hilarity as I'd assumed he would. He oozed stay-away-from-me, & I'm-a-fuckup & I just want to get through this moment then I can think about the next. He said every great man has a woman behind him with her hand up his back like a puppeteer giving him words to say, & hopefully every once in a while sticking her finger about a quarter of an inch up his ass. He brought a "speech" written on an airline barf bag. After Roeper went off on some insane tangent at one point, he said "What was I talking about?" & Downey said "Yourself."

I've always had a huge crush on him, like, "I LOVE HIM AND I'D DO ANYTHING FOR HIM" & all that kind of stuff, & thinking any amount of craziness would be fine to put up with because he's so brill & funny & all that. Not so much anymore. I feel sorry for that woman he's dating. It's too much responsibility to be the only good thing he can mention, from the stage, in front of everyone.

I really liked "The Singing Detective." I'll still go see him in anything.

I've signed up Sydney, Chris, Nina, Erin, Merritt, & Deborah to be the next group of people on "Surviving Nugent." I cannot WAIT. Watching it is going to be the best 2 hours of my entire life.

*perv* *next*