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2001-12-10 - 4:28 p.m.

Ronin � I watched this waiting anxiously for the moment when Jean Reno & Bobby D would get down to it & seriously make out, starting with a lot of rough wrestling but culminating in deep soulful communication with the eyes & amazingly tender regard for the others� stubble. Same as every other time I�ve watched it, this part never came. I was sad but then realized � I�ve only seen this movie on an airplane, & from a video Syd & I bought at Blockbuster. BOTH SITUATIONS IN WHICH MOVIES ARE EDITED FOR NAUGHTINESS. So, it could happen. This scene could be out there. Probably is out there. I can�t WAIT to see it.

Ocean�s 11 � This movie was ok. I�m sure I will remember little of it in a week. It was mostly about looking at Cloondawg. And Casey Affleck was actually pretty cute & funny, which I�ve been really reluctant to admit since he is brother of Thing. Toothsome Thing 2 was in the movie. Man, does he add nothing. NO-thing, whatsoever. Why was he in it?

Well, I started writing this entry earlier & lost it. I was writing about AbFab & how being fat is really different on there than on American TV. Last weeks� ep was all about Eddie being fat & her friends making her feel terrible about it, & she goes crazy trying to lose weight & there is eventually this scene with the devil & god discussing her & god is Marianne Faithfull (who has definitely played god on that show before, I forget which ep) & dev is Anita Pallenberg. It was extremely moving. It�s interesting to me that Jennifer Saunders & Dawn French play their weight for laughs, yet they ultimately seem triumphant & at ease with their bodiess, which is strange & lovely to see on-screen. Edina is coded as �fat�, but has a seriously hot body. But it�s not offensive like when Janeane Garafolo is coded as fat or ugly, it�s more like you can see that someone who looks like Jennifer Saunders could live life thinking she�s fat & being treated that way, especially as Edina works in the entertainment industry. And it really is all about coding this one character as fat on AbFab, as Saffy & the other ladies besides Pats are all pretty normal-sized like Eddie, but everyone�s agreed that Eddie is the one to be called fat. She's the one who is the most in distress about it, & who wears her clothing too small. I don�t have any one big point except that it�s strange to watch a show that wants us to laugh at this fat woman, (or fat women on French & Saunders), but it doesn�t feel degrading at all. It�s more like you�re laughing at the ideas these women put on themselves (or that are really put on us). None of the women�s bodies look like those of anyone who�d be allowed on American TV, except maybe Joanna Lumley, who plays Patsy as completely bent over & starved. They are more grotesque than women are allowed to be on TV here, but there is not the shame in watching them that I feel watching women in American sitcoms. Women must ultimately be allowed to celebrate their grotesqueness without shame? Is that my big point? Remind me to get a t-shirt made.

Ugh, I feel like I wrote it all down better the first time. I hate that.

Also this weekend Sydney & I watched an old Xena episode, The Debt II, where Xena & Lao Ma have a scene where they are smiling at dancing in the air. It�s easily a sex scene & I�ve always thought of it as that. I was thinking about this episode a few weeks ago after the Buffy musical, since Tara & Willow had that sex scene where Tara levitated. I wondered if it was a common lesbian sex metaphor. Doesn�t seem so much like something gay men or straight couples would have as a metaphor for fucking.

I have to go get high & lie on the couch now.

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