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2001-10-03 - 1:29 p.m.

It�s like Buffy & Angel are my real life, & the TV show Love Cruise provides a welcome distraction from all the emotional & physical hardships I�m constantly dealing with.

My unemployed days go by so quickly. I have nothing particular to do with them, so I get flustered trying to pick something & end up lying in bed reading books a lot of the time. Actually, more than anything, I bug the cats. They really want to be left alone but I can�t stop. I tell Nick �Well, Mr. Wonderful, I heard you need a spanking every 4 minutes. Is this true?� He looks at me like �Please. I am so very tired. Just give me an hour alone, please.� Then I tell Lloyd all about the surgery I�ve scheduled on her ears, to turn her into a Scottish Fold kitten. She covers her face with her paw, like that�ll make me disappear.

Sometimes I turn on the TV for like half an hour. I really don�t want to watch TV during the day for some reason. I guess I feel like if I establish a daytime TV routine, I will really never ever get a job. Anyway, today I watched part of Jennifer Love Hewitt�s E! True Hollywood Story. When she was on some show with Seth Green that was set on an island, the character really forced her to explore her dark side. What side was Seth Green exploring with that curtain of silky fire that framed his face? It was obviously so well taken care of, that hair. Like he�d blowdry it every day with a round brush. How upsetting would it be if Oz still had that hair when he & Willow were dating? Way worse than matching outfits.

I can�t really talk about last night�s Buffy at length. I will say that the loss of Giles breaks my heart, & I really really really really really hate Anya. In case you were wondering if that�d changed. Oh, and where is Miss Kitty Fantastico? Why wasn�t she part of that first scene? All the other big stuff relating to Buffy, I can�t even go into. It�s so much! Sydney & I are going to watch it again tonight.

I really wanted to like Alias, and Crossing Jordan. Oh, well. When I was watching Alias, I just kept wondering why I should watch this when La Femme Nikita is a thousand times better. Better heroine, the entire show is much more subtle & dangerous, & FIVE MILLION TIMES BETTER FASHION & MUSIC. That was maybe the most fashionable show on TV ever, & they're going to remake it with dumb clothes? Good plan.

Oh, I do have something else to say about Buffy. That bike gang is completely yours, & you�re going to get matching facial accessories.

Maybe my temp agency would be giving me jobs if I had a better haircut? Or a more chipper voice? Or smiled at nothing? Or wore heels or lipstick? Or didn�t stink? Or combed the seeds & stems out of my hair? Who knows. I�m going to a new place Friday. Judging from the tone of voice of the dude I talked to, my phone call was keeping him from a line of 100 people waiting in front of his desk. Super brusque & rehearsed. I�m sure I�ll fit right in, as long as I am disciplined about sitting up straight in the chairs & filling out my forms, instead of lying across the floor & simultaneously drooling & drawing cats on my forms. Speaking of, I need to go wake up Nick & Lloyd & give them some spanks.

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