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2001-08-09 - 12:45 p.m.

Hello weiner cleaner.

Yesterday I wrote Andrew & Sydney an email about how I feel terrible for Buffy, constantly battling the slaya hatas. I don't feel that that is enough of an audience for my awesome play on words, so I bring it to you. Slaya hata slaya hata slaya hata.

You know how gross it is when you date someone & then later after you've broken up & you're totally over it & you can see clearly what person is like? & you can't understand what in the hell your problem was, & you think of how people saw you together out in public & saw you talk about that person all like they're the shit? However horrible you've felt in the past about that kind of thing, it's nothing compared to what Drew Barrymore is going to feel one day. That is going to be like the most intense boyfriend-regret in the universe. I mean, what if every gross thing your old boyfriend/girlfriend did was on TV? Lord. And plus just the look of him. Yikes.

I think maybe my all-time first pick for the TV show that I'd like to live inside would be Match Game PM. Always wasted, no drama that isn't in jest, amazing costume-like outfits, & no one expecting too much of me. I wouldn't even mind sitting in the upper left corner, aka the Idiot Box. That is where they stick Anson Williams & Fred Grandy & all those tards. I could so be the tard in the upper left corner! Why doesn't That 70s Show do a Match Game tribute? That would rule.

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