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2001-07-13 - 12:41 p.m.

If you were dating me, right about now you'd get a call asking if tonight you wanted to be Tammy Faye, or Jim J. Bullock. Those are your options. If you're not down, I'm not interested.

I have to thank Sweetits for a while ago imploring her readers to see "The Eyes of Tammy Faye." Incredible. I loved when she was pitching ideas about a TV show to some network dude....basically, anything involving puppets was what she was hoping for. Aren't we all?

I wish there was a part 2 for me to rent tonight.

I LOVED her session with the makeup artist.

What I really don't love is Jim Bakker's face. Can someone tell me who he looks like? I know his face looks like a lot of inanimate objects, like a beanbag or a kicked-in squash or a melted babydoll. But doesn't he resemble someone famous, a lot? He's all swollen with slits for features & random odd lumps, like he has ten toothaches. I don't know who I'm trying to think of, obviously if I knew a 2nd person who looked like him I'd probably delete them from my head as best I could. Garbage Pail Kid? Alfred E.? You know what - I think he might look like one of those extra faces. How people will have an extra face on the side of their head with teeth & stuff, & go on "Real People" or "That's Incredible" & talk about it? Maybe he's reminding me of that sort of thing. I don't know.

Watching Tammy Faye, at first you start to grudgingly admire her, for being as pro-gay as one can be within the confines of that particular world of insanity. She was the first televangelist to reach out to gay people & people with AIDS. But then you realize how sick that is, she really just found a community that hadn't been economically exploited yet by TV ministers, & so she included them in the insane lies so they could send $ in too. Nice.

I dreamt last night that my family & friends were throwing me a huge birthday party, & I was a room away from it but could never quite make it into the party. David Spade didn't want me to go, & he kept making up all these distractions to keep me talking to him. Mostly Hollywood gossip, none of which I can recall now. Dude, what if celebrity gossip starts coming to me in my DREAMS?? It is all I've ever, ever wanted out of life.

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