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2000-10-27 - 20:07:10

Can I hire strippers dressed like Brak and Zorak? If not, why not? What time are Tim & Deborgoing to get to town, so we can start drinking the Flirtinis & playing the Powerpuff board game? How retarded am I going to look as a devil with nothing to show for it but a pitchfork & evil looking makeup? Why move "Grosse Pointe" from Fridays when it is perfect before "Popular"? Do Nick & Lloyd fantasize about me when I'm not home? Does Nikita really love Michael? Why won't the post office bring my package & what is it? Why am I obsessed with Coven 13? If I went there in disguise, would I be sniffed out as a non-Goth & roasted? Would I taste good roasted? Will someone reading this think at first that I meant the goths would tell bad jokes about me but then assure me that I'm really a great guy? Do you have to be a guy to be roasted by the friars? Who the fuck are are the friars? Will Andrew come out with us tomorrow night? What will he wear? What is Tom going to be for Halloween? Will Katherine make another amazing costume? Why can no one at my work ever comment on how frig-N cute I am? Why are red pleather pants not worth commenting on but an American flag sweater on someone else is? Why can anyone walk around sporting an American flag in any form & think that it's okay? Did other people refuse to salute the flag in school? Should I design a flag for Buffy fans? Why did Buffy wear those brown tie-dye pants? Why did they have to bring up howler monkeys in the last episode? Do I know anyone who is really a howler monkey? Would I be able to tell? How tall is a howler? Is it grosser to say "howler monkey", or just "howler" like we're friends & I can abbreviate it? Does La Lang ever wonder why I haven't been to his shows lately? Why did my boss say in the middle of a conversation today "That has nothing to do with the price of bananas!"? Why can't I find any cute shoes for my fat fucking feet? Why is it so funny to say fat fucking feet? Is it funny because Jack Black said it, or did he say it because it's funny? Are those 2 things really mutually exclusive? Will there be any candy left in our house by Halloween? Why do people bid 51$ for a Match Game board game? Do they have the same crush on Richard Dawson as I do? Can anyone really have the same crush as I do? Are the new Buffy credits the best credits on any show ever? When is Upright Citizens Brigade coming back on? How can I get more people to read my diary? Should I rent one of these backs of bus-stop benches? Why did that guy poop on the bus that one time? Did Sydney hate that as much as I did? Have I ever been that wasted that I would poop on the bus? Would my friends be nice about it if I did? Could whoever I was with keep it a secret, or would they have to tell everyone? Is Renee O'Connor going to get any good acting jobs after Xena? Kevin Smith? Ted Raimi? When will Frasier stoppit? Why are my eyes all blurry? I go home now.

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