2003-08-28 - 1:43 p.m.

I mainly think about the lady across the hall. Only since Sunday though. Which is totally not a long time, but it seems like it. At first I couldn't sleep. Now I can, but I wake up in the night several times & think I hear her but it's always just something outside. And I haven't gone out to do anything since then except work. I was going to go to this going away party tonight but I think I'll just come home & wash her dish & give it back to her & see if he's come back. The good part is that if he even lays a finger on her, she can call 911 & he'll go back to jail until his court date. But will she do that? Will she be able to? What if he won't let her get to the phone? And the TV is loud or I'm in my room & I can't hear her screaming this time? I only did before because she got out into the hallway. She's 22. She has so little English, & makes no money. She's called the police a ton of times, but never gone through with pressing charges, I guess. She seems seriously determined to now, & she has mentioned a bunch of times how nice everyone is being to her. I guess no one else ever knew except this weird dude who is a friend of both of theirs & came to pick her up. And then we were 3 nice women helping her.

Whenever cops show up, women cannot defend themselves. You're just supposed to let them do it for you, & call you dear, & make jokes while your bruises go yellow to purple, & say "it's a shame - you're a pretty girl, why do you let him do this to you?" because it would apparently be different if she was ugly & because in the head of a pig she has a million easy options that she just mysteriously refuses to exercise.

I slipped the # under her door of Chicago Abused Women Coalition, because their website said they have Arabic speakers, among a bunch of other languages. She called me a few hours later & had already talked to them. She says he almost destroyed her but she won't let him & she's realized he's crazy & unable or unwilling to change & she never wants him back. If she remains serious & this is what happens she is my biggest hero. Maybe this will be great. Right now it's so fucking scary.

*perv* *next*