2002-11-14 - 11:07 a.m.

I wish Bjork would come & sing "Violently Happy" to a rapt Nick & Lloyd but of course changing the words to "Seriously Naughtyyyyy", & then afterwards say "Can I morph into you guys for my next vid? Can I please kiss the gleam of your nose? Can I put a dress on each of you? Lloyd, can I put you in yellow? Nick, could you lower your voice? I know I am one to talk but it's SO HIGH and SO LOUD, it hurts my ears."

I would maybe make an action comedy with the 2 cop buddies as Bjork & Bernie Mac. Except for the fact that if I were a filmmaker I would never ever ever ever ever lie about cops like every Hollywood movie does, & I don't want to make a film about 2 murderers or at BEST overlookers of murder & rape etc., so I guess they'd need some other vocation. Ok. Bjork is a dentist & Bernie Mac is a veterinarian. They get somehow mixed up with this cat who is such trouble. The cat is voiced by Edward James Olmos. And Clem is in this movie too. Maybe the sad owner of the cat, who just wants to make friends. And sometimes sits in the back seat & tries to make things better between Bjork & Mac, but really doesn't help. And not in this movie is Cedric the Entertainer who's dancing on his TV show made me mad last night. And I might as well also mention that Facinelli shouldn't even think about auditioning, or trying to slip in as an extry. Nope. Castrati need not apply, especially after that unexplainable white coat I had to look at last night.

Man I wanted to write about Buffy but did you know Detroit doesn't even get it until Sunday? Because of some motherfucking sports event. Ann Arbor, too. They have to wait. Well, they don't HAVE to wait. They could riot & demand it be shown. Couldn't they? The station HAS the tape, right? Oh my god, they could riot like those G'n'R fans! Did you see the Axl riot? I wanted it to get bigger news coverage. I wanted fashion coverage of the Axl riots. The brill part about it is, since Axl "missed his flight", & a riot "just broke out", they now have rad new footage for the eternally forthcoming masterpiece "Chinese Democracy." Axl the mastermind. It's plenty more than dead air that those braids are protecting.

*perv* *next*