2001-05-21 - 4:26 p.m.

I woke up the morning after our party & all I could think was "How much of a man was I?" That was the main question in my head. I was reliving loud, obnoxious man-moments over & over in my mind, & knowing there were more to come as the night slowly came back to me. If I were an alcoholic, I'd have to ask myself every single morning how much of a man I was the night before! That shit is no good. I don't think pot makes me into a man. If it does, please don't ever ever let me know about it. Thanks.

Have you ever felt like your friends are mainly using you to get to your copy of "Leprechaun 3"? I'm just asking hypothetically. The other day I watched "Taxi", & Tony learned the word "hypothetical." Bobby taught it to him. Why didn't they ever give Bobby more to do? Oh, because of his hair? That makes sense.

We had this punch at the party called Lum. It was an online recipe I found, & it was basically a bunch of limes, a bunch of sugar, & light rum. Everyone said Lum about a million times, because it's a good punchline for anything. So I made the Lum & it was so goddamned strong & emitted such a strong odor whenever you just passed by it, that I kept doing stuff to try to doctor it up, & it just got worse. Deborah said at the beginning of the evening "You know, when you mentioned it to me in an email, AND when you said it just now, for some reason it seems like it should have something to do with THAT GUY!" & pointed at the Leprechaun 3 box. It was only then that we realized that Lum means Leprechaun cum! Nothing could be cuter. Or tastier!

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