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2001-01-17 - 18:22:52

Welly, welly. Tomorrow I'm headed off to San Franny, as it's known to us hipsters. VERY EXCITING. I'm going to eat like I never et before.

Lately I've had the most awesome ideas that make me laugh hysterically, but then later on don't seem as funny. Or, like I forgot the part that made them really funny. The whole thing about how I was gonna write a rock opera about my & S's old boyfriends seemed really funny. REALLY funny, it seemed. But now...not so much. And the idea about ripping all your underwear Flashdance-style. That seemed so great that I was afraid to even mention it for a while, for fear someone would .... RIP me off???

Alright. Anyway.

I miss Bill Brasky. Do you remember him? He was an SNL character who was never seen, you just heard a bunch of guys talking about him. Here are some facts about Bill Brasky, that I got from the Planet Will website:

He's a 10-foot-tall beast man, who showers in vodka.. and feeds his baby shrimp scampi.

Brasky went public with his own buttocks.. and made seven million.

Brasky once hosted the Grammys, and gave every award to Corey Hart!

He has a toenail on the end of his penis!

Brasky got his wife pregnant.. and she gave birth to a delicious 16 oz. steak..

Brasky's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong!

He breast-feeds John Madden!

Brasky named the group Sha-Na-Na! They did not want to be called that..

If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys' "Pet Sounds".

All.. the Yes album covers.. are Brasky Family photos.

Brasky's semen can form into a liquid human!

And Sydney's favorite, that she begged me to add to the list because it made her cry:

Bill Brasky wears a live rattlesnake for a condom!!!

It is kind of heartwarming, I guess...

*perv* *next*

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