2000-12-06 - 17:20:27

I bring you the following notes that I took while stoned & trying to follow that Rudolph show last night, which I originally thought might be fun. OH! I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING!

Ok, when I was waiting in the airport to go home for Spanksgiv, I was across from this gross teenage couple. He was stretched out across several seats, his head in her lap. Facing up, mercifully. He was pronouncing his opinions on different subjects, & something on the TV came on about Seinfeld. He said in a completely world-weary voice with the natural volume of a sports announcer "Yeah....I like Seinfeld alright. It's a good soap opera." I don't know, it just made me really, really mad. It makes sense, right? That it'd infuriate me? It's retarded.

Ok. Now, my Rudolph notes:

Santa - skinny, VERY skinny-legged. Sherlock Holmes outfit. Repeatedly pronouncing himself "king of jingaling."

The dad fucking sucks! Puts dirt on the kid's nose to cover up the redness.

"The Abominable." What if that was your nickname. God. "Hates everything to do with Xmas."

Herbie = Queen Darlene! Doesn't like to make toys. Would cast David Spade?

Herbie - sings exceptionally queeny song about being a misfit.

Burl Ives/Snowman the opposite of sympathetic: "Ah, well. Such is the life of an elf." Totally not going to have his high bogarted by some elf's problems. Why agree to tell the story then?

"Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit." Sung by both Spade & Rudy.

(Commercial for Nut & Honey Cheerios): Trying to have a bee tempt Scrooge with nuts & honey? What if they do every Dickens book as a cereal commercial.

Ives is uninterested, through with the story, above it all. Seems like Santa's lapdog, to me.

Santa - crotchety! Not nice to the elves.

Girl elves - cute! Blonde w/pointy ears, pink dresses trimmed in white fur.

Um...the elves noses?

Clauses are on thrones! Elves get NO praise. After Santa goes off on them & then leaves the room, Mrs. Claus "What does Papa know?" Ew.

Now there's a lion in a crown. & wings?

"We're just a coupla misfits from Xmastown." God. Like it's Mortville.

Finally I turned over to Buffy & Drac. Much less weird & upsetting.

*perv* *next*