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2000-07-24 - 19:22:01

I had such an awesome like dawson weekend in Minneap. Syd & I flew in Friday afternoon, & took the Airport Express to our lovely downtown Holiday Inn. Along the way, a large portion of the bus fell down, on the inside, near Sydney & myself. I could see by looking inside the guts of the bus that it was primarily cardboard cobbled together with tacks. Nice. The bus driver I think was named Bob. He was approximately 99, & majorly disinterested in any parts his bus might be losing.

After we arrived at the Inn, the first order of business was the eatin'. We ate at Sawatdee. I think that's what it was called. A great Thai place that had been recommended by many lovely ladies on the Bust website. Um, one of our appetizers (which Sydney reminds me was called PARADISE! How could I forget?!) was chicken wings that had been de-boned & then stuffed with things like water chestnuts. Oh my god. It was so fantastic & I can't stop thinking about it. Look at me wrong & I'll de-bone you, stuff you with water chestnuts, & eatcha. Because it's now like a bloodlust within me. The other great thing about our meal was this entree of shrimp bathed in peanut sauce & coconut milk, on a bed of fresh spinach. YUMMERS YUMMERS YUMMERS!

We did more stuff on Friday that I fergit. Shopped at the comic book store, record store, & Marshalls. But the most exciting thing was that we saw there was a show that evening at Lee's Liquor Lounge. Dale Watson was playing. We decided to go.

We looked cute, but not as cute as so much of the crowd. Super sexily countrified were many of the folk. Sydney pointed out my main porkchop-ed crush in the crowd as a joke. Whatev, Bev. The bar is really big, & there is an Elvis shrine, & a big stuffed kitty cat up in the corner. Finally Mr. Watson started to play. After a few songs we took our beers up by the stage.

Mister Watson is quite a hottie. I don't know how to explain it, but he entranced both of us & I could not believe he was real. Before Friday, July 21, 2000, I think I would have bet my life without a thought on the fact that I'd NEVER want to do ANYTHING even remotely naughty to any person with an american flag tattoo prominently displayed on their forearm. After Friday, July 21, 2000, I now know I should not go around betting my life on anything.

He took all requests, & sang the Dukes theme, & sang Eastbound & Down, & sang a Johnny Cash medley, & several anti-Bad New Country songs. The best part was that they were all specific about who he hated. Ok, did you get the part where he sang the Dukes theme? I mean truly, someday the mountains might get 'em but the law never will.

His many requests for the crowd to be LOUD&PROUD did not go unanswered. He was way too drunk to be making up "trivia contests", & handing out t-shirts as prizes. I now have a Dale Watson t-shirt. He was just drunk enough to do an extended JAM of Are You Sure Hank Done It That Way, & was reduced to lyrics like "what if I got rid of that steel guitar and replace it with.....ah....somethin' else....yeah...I don't think Hank dunnit that way..." I think Hank might have to know more of the specifics of this replacement plan of yours, in order to register any opinion, dontcha think? Probably not. We were all in agreement with the sentiment.

So afterwards Syd & I picked ourselves up off the floor where we had melted, & I asked a lady in the bathroom if the bars all closed at two, hoping there'd be like ONE four o'clock? I didn't expect a option of different four o'clocks, but I'm thinking there has to be one...she replies "The bars close at 1. He played a half an hour over. You're in Minnesota now." Um...........problem.

We left the ladies' room, & just kind of stood around, trying to wrap our minds around the fact that our evening was pretty much over. I was mumbling the 2 facts about Dale that I knew most surely - "He is filthy. He is filthy! Those lines next to his eyes...filth..." Sydney said "It's because they're LAUGH lines.." She hissed it like it was the dirtiest thing ever, & he was in danger of being arrested for even having them. I so wanted to talk to him, but had nothing to say that would make any sense. "I would BITE him. I just want him to KNOW that I would bite him." Sydney summed up for me "So. 'You're filthy & I would bite you' ?"

We were sober enough to know better than to say that to anyone. What would you do if someone said that to you? I would break into a run except that I don't do that. I would break into a nap.

So, we walked back to our hotel. I spied one place that looked kind of exciting, with people hanging around the doorway & parking lot. I suggested checking it out. Sydney gave me no answer. I realized it was the Greyhound station. Ugh.

Ok, this is getting too long. I will skip details of our fascinating conv back in the hotel room all about "I really would bite him. Hard." & "What if he's in this very hotel?" & "Do you think he watches Buffy?" & so on.

We woke up the next morning & went to hell for breakfast. I'm not going into it. We got to the convention & it was cool. My enemy from the last Xena convention was there, as well as a few new enemies-upon-sight. These enemies are all men, FYI. If you could see them, you'd know. Man, would you know.

Blah blah blah. Skip to Ted Raimi/Joxer. He was super cool & sexy & funny. Um...ok, his character was killed at the end of the last season. Here are the kinds of questions that people seriously stood in line to ask him:

Do you love Gabrielle?

Is it fun to act?

Do you like being dead?

Do you like being dead. What could he say. He actually said "Um....yeah!" It was a lot of small children asking questions. One woman asked if she could waltz with him. ??? People quite seriously believe themselves the center of the universe. I cannot stand it.

I want to write about the cabaret where he sang, but I am too simple & my eyes tell lies. So I'm going to go get on my bus & read my Buffy book, because Sydney is reading the same book & I MUST overtake her on the page numbers.

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